Romanticizing your life is harming you.

Dearest reader,

“Romanticizing your life” has become an ongoing social media trend that we see everywhere on our FYP. This concept is designed to make things seem more magical, allowing us to enjoy them better.

The problem I’ve found with this way of thinking is that it can pull us out of the moment and cause us to focus on how we think we should be experiencing things, rather than simply enjoying them for what they are.

When we fully immerse ourselves in the present moment—without attaching it to a narrative or adding any meaning to it—we allow ourselves to really feel it. We surrender our attachments, calm our minds, and become fully present in what we’re actually experiencing.

For instance, I often see videos on social media where creators piece together aesthetically pleasing clips of their matcha, sunset views, yoga, or pilates sessions and title them “Romanticizing Your Life.” The problem I see here is that these are clips. Five-second clips. A frame. A moment in time. The reality is that life isn’t always about yoga in the morning, grabbing a matcha latte with your bestie afterward, and then heading to the beach to catch the sunset. Life can be really messy. And if we continue to perpetuate this narrative of how life should look, we end up placing unrealistic expectations on what a healthy, happy, and successful life should look like.

Maybe we romanticize our lives because we want to feel like the main character of our story, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Monotony can make us feel like our lives are nothing special and far from romantic. It becomes very comforting when we see our lives put together like a movie. But our lives aren’t meant to follow a script. Our lives are meant to be lived fully and honestly. 

Framing moments in our day-to-day lives to fit an algorithm that is trendy on TikTok causes us to lose the rawness of the moment itself. What we consume on social media continues to be these polished versions of life, not the messy and beautiful reality, and it genuinely scares me. Real, authentic beauty is when we acknowledge life for all of its imperfections—and let it be beautiful.  

I’m not saying we shouldn’t seek out beautiful moments in our day-to-day lives or find ways to be grateful. I think we absolutely should stay observant and keep an open mind to the beauty that already surrounds us. But “romanticizing your life” can sometimes feel like forcing a filter over what we see just to make it beautiful. When truthfully, it’s not about making things feel magical—it’s about enjoying the magic that’s already there. 

Take it from someone who works as a full-time content creator, I feel most beautiful when I am not in front of the camera. This doesn’t mean that what I show on social media isn't real. It is, but it’s just a frame of my life. I understand that what I do has a profound influence on the lives of young girls. I could not live with myself if I didn’t try to extend my love to other women, knowing my life is far from perfect and aesthetically pleasing videos, but it is entirely beautiful and overwhelmingly romantic when I embrace all of my imperfections

The videos we see online labeled “romanticizing your life” are highlight reels. They don’t show the struggles, even though we’re all human and all experience the ugly and messy parts too. But the ugly and messy are also beautiful. That’s the most important part of a romantic life: imperfection.

Love,

Ajie